Pen And Paper

Why do we pray? I mean, if God is God, and He is sovereign… my prayers aren’t going to make a difference anyway right? It’s not like my small little prayers are going to change the mind of God! Whatever God has planned is going to happen whether I like it or not, so why bother? Why Pray? And if so, then how do I pray? In boldness and confidence? In the name of Jesus? In faith? I have wrestled with these questions in my head for years. It’s hard to know what to pray and how. I’ve been told before, if my faith was stronger I would see God answer my prayers instantly. All I had to do was believe God would do it and it would be done.  I could go before the Lord in boldness and confidence as His child and lay my request before Him and He would work miracles. But what if nothing happens? What then? Does that mean my faith is too weak, or my prayers are too little to be heard? Because of these questions, I went through a season where I no longer knew how to pray and it shook my fai...

Hey there stranger! It’s been a while. But guess who’s back in the blogging world again! I’ve been wanting to get back for a long time now. I can’t make any promises on how often I will write… mom life is unpredictable… but I will write when I can.   “For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.” Psalms 139: 13-14 As you all know, I have recently entered the world of motherhood and absolutely love it! There is nothing like it. He steals my heart every time I look at him. He is so precious and has opened my eyes in many ways. It’s like living life all over again through him. His innocence is so pure and his curiosity is endless. Everything he sees is new and exciting. There’s always something to discover and learn. Life is so simple and beautiful to him, and it’s beginning to help me see the world in a different way. As...

Well, now that's its been almost a year… I suppose it's about time for me to post again. Time just flies by doesn't it? So much has happened since the last time I wrote, I'm not even sure where to start. I met my amazing future husband, we are happily engaged, I graduated from the Bible College, and now I'm here in Montana wedding planning, working, and preparing for the move to Florida coming up in about a month. Amazing how life turns on a dime, hu?  If you would have told me a year ago, that I would meet a guy in my third semester, start dating only three weeks later, fall in love in a month, be engaged six months after that, and be living in Montana, I would have laughed hysterically and argued that no one can fall in love that fast. That's just ridiculous, infatuation, fairytale nonsense. And yet here I am….. with a beautiful ring shining proudly on my left hand, and a strong man of God, whom I love, by my side. We haven't even known each other a...

That night... that dreadful night when I witnessed everything fall apart. When everything came crashing down on me with no hesitation. That night when every inch of my body trembled as I wept bitterly. That night when I watched as hearts crumbled as mine shattered and there was nothing I could do about it. That night I wished I could just wake up and convince myself it was all just a terrible dream....  but instead the painful reality persistently washed in with a flood of emotion and broke down any hope of this being a nightmare.   .....That moment where words are meaningless and comfort has run dry.... where my heart raced as fast as the thoughts threw my mind in a failed attempt to processes the situation. That moment when my knees hit the ground... tears drenched my cheeks.... my throat tightened as I grasped for words.......  That night...... that night when my life changed forever.......  “ And we know that all things work together for good to those ...

I held my dear friends for a couple moments longer in an effort to extend the seconds quickly passing us by..... to postpone the inevitable. I fought the tears building  up in my eyes as we said our goodbyes. We locked gazes and tried to smile as I assured them both that our paths will one day cross again.... though the words were sincere, I also struggled to grasp this truth. We embraced one last time and whispered our sincerities. I pushed a tear off my cheek as I watched them get into the car and close the doors. We waved to each other as they drove down the street leaving me standing lonely on the sidewalk. I felt a piece of my heart leave with them. I forced my feet to take me back into my house as I regained control over my emotions. There had been enough tears shed this week..... especially the night before.  My eyes had run dry ....  I meandered through the doorway and glanced around at the empty house. Every last box had been sealed and taken away. Nothin...

Peter Pan..... One of my favorite Disney movies as a child! What an ideal world he had created for children all over the world. Never have to grow up! What bliss, never having any responsibility, never having a job, never having  anywhere to rush too, never having to deal with the difficulties of mature decision, and never faced with that inevitable question... “What do you wanna be when you grow up?” .......My kind of  “Neverland!” Alright, now that we’re done fantasizing.... welcome back to the real world, where we’re rudely awakened by the unchangeable truth of reality. What happened? I was just 13 a few days ago.... and 7 a few moments before that! I blink and I’m graduating High School and being bombarded with hundreds of different colleges and having to make a discussion on what I want to be. I blink again and I’m two semesters into college. Still the same questions being thrown my way.... just wrapped up and presented a little bit differently... “What are your plan...

I know it’s been quite awhile since I’ve posted anything. I guess you could say I hit “writers block” for a while. But here is a blog I started months ago and never finished it till now.... Hopefully I will be able to keep up better with my blogs again! Enjoy!  A missionary came to my school a couple months ago to share about the intense ministry he is involved in. I remember sitting there fighting back the tears as he expounded on the horrors Christians in Sudan face daily. The men fight, not only to protect themselves, but first and foremost to defend the women and children in their villages. Their enemy is beyond brutal and evil. The missionary shared a few of the gruesome stories with us.... truly hellish situations I don’t even want to repeat. I could not imagine living through what these men face as their normal reality. Their beloved women and children are kidnapped, raped, inhumanely, and brutally murdered right before their eyes.  And why? Why are these cru...